A new chapter

[DianneC]

Its been five weeks now and I guess I'm ready to tell about the accident that happened while we were down in Oregon on our vacation in early October. I got on a horse I shouldn't have gotten on, without a helmet, and then rode him badly. Frankly, its been tough to talk about. I was too confident of my new riding skills, and I forgot I wasn't riding a horse that knew my cues. The long and short of it was that I got thrown and hit the back of my head on the metal rail of the corral really hard. My husband, who was standing on the other side of the fence said he thought sure I was dead or crippled for life, I hit that hard. I had my first ambulance ride and the afternoon in the ER. By some very lucky and well protected by angels chance I did not break my neck and I did not have any bleeding on my brain. I am so lucky to be alive and walking and talking. I have a little residual dizzyness (but I've frosted my hair blonde) and need some physical therapy for my poor stretched muscles, but otherwise I am fine.
I've never known I had any limitations, but at 61 years old I've decided its time to reduce the risks I take. So I'm giving up riding. Its time to turn the page to a new chapter. The only bad heartache is giving up the wonderful fun I was having with Chinook. He is so light and willing, such a rush to ride. He's too great a horse to be a pasture pet so I'm going to be selling him if I can find the right home. I'm still deciding on what mares to keep since I know I'll need a foal fix once in a while. So you gals ride'm while you're young and wear a helmet!

[mustangdara]

Dianne... yikes!! I am so glad you ok and are walking and talking! I hope you get all your muscles back in shape and do well with the physical therapy, i am sorry you have to give up riding.
Get well soon!
Dara

[stormyranch]

Diane,
We are so glad to hear you are O.K. I know first hand how scary these things can be. We wish you all the best.
Lisa and Kevin

[MustangsInNC]

First off- OMG, So glad you are OK!

I totally understand where you are coming from.... I got my rude awakening a few years ago that I'm not unbreakable. I have been riding most of my life now, and I was professionally training for a while. There was no horse that I couldn't bring around.... I thought I could ride anything.

I broke an Appaloosa mare for someone, then sent her home. He rode her the rest of the summer and fall, and was thrilled with her. He put her out to pasture that winter. The following spring he wanted me to come out and give her a "refresher" course in exchange for offering me some pasture space. So I did.

From the beginning the mare didn't act right. She tossed her head and acted really flighty. The first few times I rode her in the round pen. Then on the third day, I thought maybe we just needed to hit the trails to give her something to focus on instead of circles in the ring. So my husband was with me, and I asked him to open the gate to the ring so we could head down to the trails. That's my last memory.

Apparently she decided to play Lone Ranger and reared up full height pawing and tossing her head. I stayed on, but she lost her balance and fell over backwards and landed on top of me. I hit my head and was unconcious. I was riding in a western saddle, and the horn was shoved in to my thigh. The horse got up and ran away, saddle, bridle, and all. Joseph grabbed me and put me in the car and drove me to the hospital.

The first thing I remember is waking up 3 days later and wondering why my leg hurt so bad. I had mild amnesia... couldn't remember the guy's name or phone number to call and tell him his horse ran away with my saddle and bridle 3 days ago. Couldn't remember anything that happened and why I was hurt. (PS- I finally remembered his number. The mare had run back in to her pasture. My saddle and bridle were intact and still on her, and she was fine.)

I had severed an artery in my thigh and had to have surgery to fix torn ligaments and internal bleeding. My hip kept popping out of joint since the ligaments had been torn. It hurt me to even walk short distances for over 6 months. I walked with a limp for over 2 years. I couldn't even sit on a horse for over a year because my hip would go out.

The first time I rode a horse, it was a gentle kid's lesson horse that belonged to my friend. She tossed her head a little and I started crying and got off of her. I sobbed the whole way home. I told my husband "there is nothing in life I love more than my horses, now I'm afraid to ride them". It sent me in to a deep depression for months.

That was almost 5 years ago. Now I'm back to riding and training again, but only my own horses. I don't train for others anymore. And I still get nervous when a horse threatens to rear. Joseph tells me that I finally realized I'm not superwoman. It was a long road, but it's the passion of my life, and I wasn't willing to give it up.

I'm so glad to hear that you are OK and will heal up with time. Hang in there, and maybe don't be so quick to give it all up. Just realize you have your limits, and maybe need to stick with older and more well trained/gentle horses.

[lindad]

Dianne,
Thank God that you are recovering! There is hardly a week goes by that I don't hear about someone seriously injured or killed riding. I think that most of my own mishaps over the years have been due to saddles that don't fit the horse properly. My back pain tells me that I can't risk getting being thrown off, anymore. I know that this is a tough decision for you but I completely understand it.
Linda D

[desperatehorsewife]

Dianne! I'm so glad you're okay... Your guardian angels were definitely doing their job that day.

Now, as for this giving up stuff...don't speak too quickly on that. Right now you're dealing with fear and other emotional baggage. There's a difference between climbing on a broke horse and one that isn't. Give it some time before you make that decision. It's only been a few weeks. Besides...61 doesn't seem so old to me these days and it won't be but a blink of the eye before I'm there, and I want to be riding! I need to be able to look out there and see other grannies on horseback ;D

[angelsdream]

Wow, Dianne! That's terribly scary. I feel for you - as we get older, we do realize we are much more fragile. It was much easier when your young to dust yourself off and keep going, but I can tell now if I get a bruise, it takes much longer to heal! I couldn't even imagine a trip to the ER. How scary. Glad you're ok. We are going to miss your babies you breed. They are all such great little ones! Some of us younger ones will have to take over the breeding now so you gals can retire and enjoy your retirement and travel.

Amanda - I had no idea about your mishap either....you're doing so great and have come a long way. You're very strong.

[MustangsInNC]

I have tried to put my accident behind me, but I like to think of it as inspiration to others that are having the same fear issues I had (and still have a little of sometimes, lol). But Dianne, only you can make that decision for yourself. And yea, it took me a few years to be really "over" it.

[pepper]

Hey Dianne,I'm glad you're healing & hope you find you way back to horses in the future.
As a fellow 61 yr old I can relate more than you know to how you're feeling.I've had several bad wrecks over the years that caused me to accept my own mortality & weaknesses.Not easy to do when you've been fearless on horses as I had been.
As you all may remember,I had decieded to sell Amigo..what I didn't tell you is that I had become afraid to ride him.Last Feb.while warming him up in the arena,out of the blue when I asked for a trot he began to buck...and I mean BUCK...HARD.The only other time he did this was on the 3rd day I ever rode him(2 yrs ago) so it really caught me off guard.I was on my treeless saddle so no support there,in fact I saw daylight under the seat each time he jumped.& he wouldn't quit no matter what..anyway he sent me flying,really high in the air.When I hit(in soft deep sand,thank God) I knew I was hurt bad.Long story short,I ended up loading him back in my trailer,drove home,fed both horses & went to bed.Next morning at dawn realized I still couldn't breathe or really move at all so called a friend (I'm single & live alone)who came down to feed the horses & take me to the ER.Broken rib & collasped lung.Was home for 2 weeks unable to move & hard to even catch my breath.Spent alot of time thinking about my life with horses & concluded that I couldn't risk being badly hurt & since I'd lost my trust in Amigo,I had to find him a new owner.
I was back riding my arab(painful but needed for my recovery)3 weeks after the crash.
Won't go into the whole "selling Amigo" experience but I still have him...fat & happy out in pasture.I have 2 new saddles(neither treeless) to ride him with but haven't been on him since the acccident.I have done 5 endurance races this season on my arab(and he's no "bombproof,kidz horse either!!!LOL but he IS predictable & we have over 2000 miles of competition together)
I'm planning to start all over again with Amigo when I bring the horses home next month and will take it slowly to build up trust again.I've given myself the time and since I absolutely adore this horse I'm not goning to worry about what happens.He was ridden by my trainer & the 2 people (out of over 40 responders to ad) that came up to buy him & he was wonderful,performing 2nd level dressage movements happily,so what ever caused the meltdown obviously wasn't some chronic problem...who knows what happened but I'm not willing to let him go.
Anyway,again,I'm glad you're healing & only you can decied what place horses will have in your life.I know I still dream of feeling Amigo's powerful canter once again..but content to wait till it's the right time for both of us.Good Luck,p

[fantasykiger]

Oh I am so happy that you are still with us DianneC and I am so sorry you had such an accident. I wish you the best and quick recovery. I do understand your fear and you alone know if you are truely ready to hang up your bridle. I know I have considered it a time or two. Thinking, now I know why mini' horses are so popular As age increases I don't know that I fear ridng, as I fear falling.
Funny though I decided to take this year and ride my old horses as much as I can before they retire and do some ground work with my youngsters as I could not afford to send them off to a trainer this year (while waiting for them to sell) and low and behold I found new confidence in all the time I have been spending with them and a change of heart.
I have to tell you there are some tuff women on this board all I can say is WOW MustangsInNC, that is one hec' of an incident/accident. pepper.. your story so reminds me of my relationship with Fantasy other then I could never part with her. I have just been getting her knocked up rather then confronting our riding issues. But no more I have decided I am done making babies and I want to ride Fantasy, of course now I have to wait until she has her foal . For now we are doing ground work and working on an at liberty routine. I am so glad you have decided to hang on to Amigo, although I am amazed that he did not sell.

It helps to have friends or a place to share fears and foibles and not feel judged as failures.

[nrly]

Dianne C,
I too am so glad to hear that you are ok, and i understand the fear...I am there myself...so what ever you decide to do I know you really struggled with it ... Remember as Tiffany said, were here for you if you need to talk..I know it helps to have that one special friend who has also been there to talk with...I have her for me here at the Stable..I to (until Doreen) decided i would stop riding..and be another part of my horse's lives, like the one who loves on them, gives them their yummies, and yes clean the stalls..and also groom them..but with the help of Doreen. I am getting to the point I will ride again..I am on Stormy for a few minutes a day, but each day it is a bit longer, and I sit, do not ride, till I feel comfortable, then off I come..I am now up for 3 minutes..and in a few weeks I hope to be walking her in the paddock, if not thats ok I will sit on her..I guess we all have found out one way or the other we are human, and we can get hurt, and I learned that is a good thing...You my friend are one special lady, and what ever you do decide to do we are here for you...
Nola

[lilnagy]

Diane, reading your post, and the story from mustangsinNC, was gut-wrenching for me. I am so thankful that you are o.k, and I am so glad you wrote about it. After my riding accident two years ago ( I had a badly broken leg from a bucking horse) couldn't walk for 4 months, a year of therapy, gripping fear of ever being hurt again, and months of depression. One of the hardest things was not really having people close to me that I could talk to it about, because not many understand how deep these feelings run. WE UNDERSTAND! I trust that with the passing of time, and the encouragement from friends, and the love of your good horse, you will see healing both in your body and heart. I thought after my accident I would never ride again. Now I am riding a horse I trust, and adjusting to a simpler agenda (no more colt starting for me). I will be praying for you in the upcoming weeks! Lil

[stlkigers]

Dianne:

WOW....Glad you are ok....Sorry to hear about your accident! These horses are such a part of our souls, that whatever gives you joy I say go for it....Even if it's just groundwork, or looking at them out in the pasture....Maybe someday you will ride again, maybe not.....Either way I'm SO glad you are OK!

Angela

[pepper]

Hi Tiffany,Actually Amigo was purchased twice by the only 2 people I allowed to see him but both had to back out for personal reasons unrelated to the horse at the last minute & I realized that each time I felt such reliefe that I didn't have to lose him that I took him off the market.
The loss of confidence I've had since the accident is something that I'm going to work through in time and since I have my other horse to ride & Amigo is happy in the pasture,I'm feeling no pressure to prove anything to myself or others & we will move along at our own pace.It would be easier if he weren't so darn BIG...& I weren't so darn old...but it is what it is....& he is still a sweetie.p

[fantasykiger]

I think you you mentioned something very important there pepper.
"I'm feeling no pressure to prove anything to myself or others & we will move along at our own pace"
I used to feel alot of pressure to so called "get over it" and when I gave that up and decided at my own time, at my own pace. A large weight was lifted off my shoulders. I also know what you mean about if he were'nt so darn big. Having 2 Cowboy daughters, so much for short Kigers. Matt put the blame on the mares for height, I am beginning to wonder It seems that Amigo was meant to be with you.