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Post by DianneC on Nov 17, 2008 19:16:56 GMT -5
Thanks everyone for such great messages, you really do understand. I’m not sure what will happen, but it’s great to know that I have friends to talk to. If it was just me I’d be back on Chinook in a flash. I’ve come off horses many times and always just climbed back on. But this is different. It’s not just me I’m making the decision for because I have people who love me that want me to be around. I didn’t know it but my husband always thought that he would lose me to a horse accident. But because he really does love me he didn’t say much except “be careful out there, good wives are hard to find”. To watch the train-wreck of me hitting my head was really hard for him – he thought sure I was gone or crippled. It was the worst day of his life he said later. He was so great taking care of me those first few days. So I have to put myself in his place and how I would feel. I think I’ll be able to find some outlet for my passion. Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.
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Leesa
Weanling
Cisco de Mayo - Kiger Stallion
Posts: 80
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Post by Leesa on Nov 17, 2008 21:26:49 GMT -5
Dianne,
I'm so sorry to hear of your accident and how it has affected you and your family. The important thing now is you are well and here with us and of course with your husband; who clearly loves you dearly. I'm sure my next statement will cause some controversy but I must say it. Please, please, please, everyone wear an approved riding helmet when you ride, no matter where. They even make them in a western style now. I was sent to the hospital with a concussion 13 years ago when I came off a horse I was jumping. We landed after the jump and I was told he bucked three times where upon I finally came off. I don't remember a thing; only what I was told by my riding companion who witnessed the whole thing. Thank goodness I was wearing my helmet. I know it is stiff and cumbersome, can be hot (even thought the new designs are much better than before) and blocks the wind from blowing through ones hair while on a blissful gallop but I would rather make these small sacrifices in order to be around for my family and my horses. I never get on a horse, even my own, with out one and will not allow anyone to ride on my property without one either.
Leesa
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Post by gonekigercrazy on Nov 18, 2008 13:12:07 GMT -5
Dear DianneC
When I read your post, it made me cry. On the one hand, being an ER nurse for almost 20 years, I know how badly this could have been for you physically. Your angels were busy that day. But as someone who faces my mortality on a daily basis, the emotional toll is just as difficult. Let me tell you my story.
Just after my 26th birthday, I was diagnosed with cancer. It was an unusual presentation and had gotten pretty far before found. I went along with the docs' treatment plans for months to be cured or else I would not have made it to 27. Jump ten years, I'm in my thirties, married to the wonderful man I was dating during the cancer treatment, living in the country on 10 acres, two beautiful children, ages 6&7, started having shoulder pain. Was told I had "pulled something". Two nights later, my husband had to rush me to the ER where I almost died from a heart attack. Turned out all the cancer treatment had damaged my coronary arteries and they were closing off from scar tissue. Next couple of years, had multiple procedures and stents inserted to keep the blood flow going and reduce the scar tissue. Now here I am at 48 and this last year, I have had another heart attack, went into severe congestive heart failure where my lungs filled up with fluid and now out of 4 valves in my heart only one is working right. Three have stiffened and scarred up. As the doc put it, my heart muscle and structures are "turning into stiff leather" and my only option will be a heart transplant. I came home from the hospital with more pills to take and was told to "conserve" my energy, "take it easy". Well, that pretty much translated into laying on the couch, so depressed, just waiting for the next round of chest pain that nitro wouldn't ease, shortness of breath that the pills and puffers wouldn't ease and watching my life just go by.
The one thing that kept me getting off of the couch was having to tend to my horses. Old Koontash, my 20 something Paint, proud, loyal and so pissed when his meals would be late; Angus, my mutt, draft/saddlebred? mix, that came from such abuse, it took me over three years to even approach him with a muck rake, stone deaf but so intuned to me, he knows when I am having a bad day and will let me lean on him to get to the barn. Then there is little Nocona. A baby, a sick baby, what was I thinking?!! I know I will never ride like the wind again. But I REFUSE to let this heart business take everything from me. I have made a Bucket List(things to do before "kicking the bucket", great movie) and as I scratch things off the list, I find more things to add. I have quit nursing and became a certified equine sport massage therapist/ physical therapist. I have went on trail rides that I was always wanting to do but never could find the time. I let the dirty dishes and laundry pile up and go hang out in my barn. My horses get groomed more than they need, we go for walks around the pasture. I am starting riding lessons because I want to be ready for Nocona.
Sorry I'm rambling but the point I'm trying to say is that I live for those moments that take my breath away. When I feel alittle fear, at least I know I am alive. When I get Nocona to put his halter on without too much fuss, I feel success. When he walks right up to me in the pasture, I feel proud that I have done something right. I'm not a good rider, total beginner there, if a saddle doesn't have a horn for me to hang on to, forget it. You put it perfect: you have nothing to prove to ANYONE! Head trauma is scary and the injury to your neck can take along time to heal. Give yourself some time. I just know this fact: my life would be so empty without the three beautiful creatures out in my pasture. If I had the choice between dying hooked up to machines and i.v.'s, drugs, waiting on a donor heart that doesn't come or dying from getting trampled by the horses I love, I would take the later.
I'm sorry if this comes off kind of morbid, that isn't my intent. I'm glad you are o.k.
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Post by fantasykiger on Nov 18, 2008 14:14:05 GMT -5
gonekigercrazy...you made me tear up.  |
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Post by nrly on Nov 18, 2008 15:02:28 GMT -5
wow gonekigercrazy, I to was so choked up, and moved by it..thank you for sharing...
nola
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Post by DianneC on Nov 18, 2008 23:44:12 GMT -5
Wow, from me too. Its good to hear you are really living your life. More than many people with perfect hearts I think. You've given me a lot to think about. Thank you.
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Post by Michelle Clarke on Nov 19, 2008 8:58:21 GMT -5
Wow. Dianne, I am so glad you are here to share what happened with us. You are a strong woman and whatever decision you make will be the right one for both you and your family. My husband is getting more and more protective of me as the years go by and is starting to really push me to do more flooding exercises with my horses to make them safer. Of course, I am not very open to hearing his suggestions, but your comment on your husband and loved ones around you has given me another perspective.
There are some tough gals on this board and it is a great privilage to have all of you share your traumas'....we've all had them and sometimes they are hard to move past.
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Post by JoanMRK on Nov 19, 2008 10:48:35 GMT -5
Wow Dianne, I am so happy you're still with us! Thank God that He sent His angels to take care of you. I am looking forward to meeting my Guardian Angel.  I have had my share of accidents and you sure don't ride the same after them. I wear my helmet now where before I didn't. I hit my head one time and was so lucky to only have a little road rash on the side with some hair missing. Being on top of such a large, powerful animal is exhilerating especially when they're controlled with just small movements and a piece of metal in their mouth but it sure isn't something to be taken lightly. I hope you're able to keep a mare for yourself and continue playing with those babies. There are certainly a lot of walks of horse keeping, and enjoying horses for who they are is definitely one of them. |
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Post by waterbearer on Nov 20, 2008 18:01:48 GMT -5
I'm so glad to hear that you're OK now Dianne, but so sorry to hear that you had to go through such an experience. I imagine if it was something that could make you want to swear off riding for life, than it was a powerful one indeed.
All my best to you on a full and speedy recovery.
Alyssa
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Post by stlkigers on Nov 21, 2008 0:22:32 GMT -5
Gonekigercrazy:
My hat's off to you.....I applaud you living life on your terms....That was a tear jerker for sure...
Angela
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Post by nrly on Nov 21, 2008 0:43:55 GMT -5
the other day when I was at the stable grooming Stormy, a friend was working on her horse, and her husband calls himself her personal crash dummy, because he is the one she has on top of the horse's when they are finally ready...well as i was grooming, i was watching them with Rainy. wham she started bucking and he held on and held on then hit the ground, now before she calmed the horse I was across the Stable and between him and the horse i am truly a fat lady, and I did not think I could move that fast, now today and yesterday I am sore, but am glad I was there...he is 68 years old, broke his shoulder blade,and it got me to thinking also, I am so lucky when stormy went down and threw me off, that I was not hurt ...and because of the courage told here and what I saw with Gene, I am ready to get back on her..thank you all..for your strength...
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Post by idahomustanger on Nov 21, 2008 18:41:49 GMT -5
Diane -- I am so thankful you are okay. I find myself not near as "brave" as I used to be when it comes to horse activites...I think that is also one of the reasons we gelded Shadow and are downsizing the number of horses we have. I don't plan on raising any more foals, even though I've got 3 mares yet. We're getting too old to hit the ground...I don't bounce near as good as I used to. We've decided that we are going to use the ones we have and make sure they each get enough use and trail experience that it will lessen our chances of a bad accident. It had to be a very hard decision ... but I'm sure you have thought about it long and hard and have made the right decision for you. I don't see you being with out some sort of equine .... I've often said that when I get to old or to stiff to ride, I'll have something, whether it be minis or just a pasture ornament. I need to have the horsey smell... I'd be lost without it! Best of luck to you Diane.... keep in touch.
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